he wants to bone in the snuggie
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
