he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
