you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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