addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
