with your own penis?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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