So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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