ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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