I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
