I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
