They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
