dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
