if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Pooping to opera.
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