Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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