This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
