I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
