Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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