planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
