I cockslap morals
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
