So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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