I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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