what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
