There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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