I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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