kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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