I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
