i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
