I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
