return my video game
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Of course I have a pirate flag
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
