I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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