i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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