so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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