god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Rumble strips road head = magical
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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