Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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