omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
