I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
