and you said cock pushups were impossible
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
