Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
