Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
