She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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