okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
