she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
