So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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