I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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