never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
