ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
