Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
In America we eat man semen.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
