Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
