ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
