Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
