OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
