"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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