we're chasing vodka with high fives
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I believe in your delicious
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
